Week 5

5 weeks pregnant

On Saturday evening I did a pregnancy test that turned out positive. I was in the middle of putting the children to sleep but once the thought of “am I pregnant” had gotten in my head I couldn’t let it go! I got Jay, for the first time, to read the result.

At first we were shocked. I had just gotten myself hyped up for NOT being pregnant. I have been pregnant every second year for almost 12 years now! It is normal for me so when we decided that we would not be pregnant this year I was sad BUT I came to the realization that it could be a good thing. My body would have a rest, I would have a toddler without a pregnant belly and we could go on a family cruise at the end of the year. I could also get a bit of my life back and go out (for a few hours) without any children. So when the positive result came in I was scared. I had to get my head around being pregnant again. This didn’t take long! However Jay (being a man who wants to have the best for his family by the means of MONEY) wasn’t as quick to come around to the idea.

We decided to keep it quiet for a while until we had told our parents and sorted out what it means regarding the cruise. The baby has to be 6 months old but will only be 3 months so I may not be able to go. I am praying that if it is in Yah’s will it will happen…somehow.

We told all the children together. They were excited which of course makes me happy. They were fighting about who would get to share a room with him/her.

Ewan asked if he could see the baby. When I said no as it is still very small and inside my belly he asked if I could lift up my shirt anyway. So I did and he kissed my belly! So very cute.

Elijah said quickly that it was a boy and Bella and Ewan agreed. Ethan, Zeke and Jay think it’s a girl!

Mum and Dad guessed after saying I needed to talk to them. They were happy and understand that it is a gift from YHVH and that HIS plans are so much greater than ours. If I am meant to be on the cruise I will be but if I’m not He knows that! Although I really hope I can go. I am very sad at the thought of letting my boys go without me. They will have Jay but it is something I really want to share with them! However I know that in 10 years time the cruise will be but a memory and our child will be a CHILD. When you put it like that there really is no question what I would rather!!

I did a second test on Tuesday to put Jay’s mind at ease as the line was a little faint on the first one. I bought a clear blue pregnancy test with conception indicator. It measures the HCG level and tells you how long ago you conceived! It is 90% accurate. It was very exciting when The PREGNANT word came up and then the numbers 2-3 which means conception happened 2-3 weeks ago (from the test). Which makes me 5 weeks as you add two weeks.


Pregnancy is calculated from the first day of your last period, which was 29th November (it was also my first period since having Essence).

I have been feeling a little sick on and off this week. Not enough to say I was sick but enough to know I am pregnant. My milk let down has stopped and was one of the first symptoms I had. I have been a little more tired than normal but certainly not “pregnancy tired”. When I walk through the shops the smells are a lot stronger and I have flash backs of the other pregnancy morning sicknesses.

I did a huge food shop on Tuesday in preparation for when the sickness hits. I bought enough food that I could make double or triple of everything so the freezer will be stocked full of good food when I can’t cook. Morning sickness hits me hard and has gotten worse with every pregnancy. I lost 10 kilo’s in two months last time! It feels strange to feel somewhat normal knowing that I only have a week or two left before the sickness. I do have hope that maybe this time will be different and I won’t be as sick!

I have been feeling fearful about losing this baby. I have had 6 healthy pregnancies so far which ended in 6 healthy babies. I experience some bleeding between week 6 and week 8 when I was pregnant with Ewan (4th child) and thought I was miscarrying but didn’t! I really have no reason to be worried but the first 12 weeks are hard. You know your pregnant but there is nothing you can do to make sure you stay pregnant! It is totally out of our hands! For me, the bonding happens as soon as those two lines appear on the test. It’s not another pregnancy but another baby, another life, another member of our family.

I have days when I am really hungry but then can only eat a little and then I have days when I am not hungry at all.

I have been getting some headaches which I find is a normal symptom of pregnancy for me.

I have already contacted Sonja, who is the midwife we had for Essence’s birth and she is calling me next week to organize our first appointment. With a homebirth midwife you have to book early to make sure you get who you want!

This is a 4 week embryo.

As early as this week, the plate that will become the heart has developed. Your baby's brain, spinal cord, muscles, and bone formation are also beginning to form. The baby's skeleton is forming at this time as well. The embryo has a distinct organization that has a top, bottom, left, right, front and back. *

*this picture and information is taken from I am pregnant.com

In the beginning....

I have always wanted to keep a journal of my pregnancy but have never gotten around to it. Something that I can look back on and share with my child when they are older. I would love to have a journal that my own mother had written when she was pregnant with me. How amazing it would be to share something as personal as that. Pregnancy is a wonderful time that is filled with highs and lows. While your in it, it can feel as though it lasts forever but once it’s over you realize how quickly 9 months passes. We only get 9 months to enjoy this special time of a new baby growing in our womb…here is my journey…

This week has certainly been emotional week. Last Saturday I found out that we were expecting another baby. We had decided that this year we would not be pregnant as we are going on a family cruise in December, however YHVH had other plans!

I believe that ALL children are a blessing and are all planned by Adonai. I would love to leave our family size in YHVH hands but as my husband is a non believer I leave it in his (Jay’s) hands.

I love being pregnant and I love having my babies. I have learnt so much through having my precious children. They really are a blessing. Unfortunately many people in this world don’t think the same way and I am finding that I am constantly defending my family size. I do not want to live “in the box” that our society has created. A box that is filled with a husband, a house, 2 children and money. I want so much more than that. It was never YHVH’s plan to do this. At the end of my life I am sure I will not wish that I had more money. I have heard many stories of people who are dying who wish they had of had more life (children). In fact the positive comments I do get when I am walking around with my children are usually from older people who wish that they had of had more children! It’s not until the end of our life that we see this! When judgment day comes I will not have to offer worldly excuses as to why I didn’t accept Yah’s gifts. I am happy, I am excited and I am so very thankful for this new life that is being created in “the secret place”.