rewind 1 week...

My beautiful baby girl is 6 days old today. These first days go much too fast. I have been writing out her birth story and will post it as soon as I can but I really wanted to rewind 1 week as that's when labour really started...
22nd September - Thursday
I woke up to a beautiful sunny day and felt quite relaxed and peaceful. I knew Sonja would be coming over and we could organize an ultrasound. I cleaned in the morning and was having mild contractions but nothing consistent or painful. Sonja suggested going for a walk and she would head over. Mum came down to watch the girls (it was a huge blessing to me that she stayed in town these last days) and Jay and I went for a walk and chatted. The contractions didn't really pick up though. Once back home (Jay went back to work) mum, the girls and I started making a huge batch of biscuit dough that we could freeze into logs for after the baby was born. Sonja came at about 11:30 and I took a dose of black coash (herbs used to bring in labour) and 4 homeopathic pills that dissolved under your tongue. The black coash was horrible and you need to take 3 or 4 lots over 3 or 4 hours to get the contractions to pick up. Sonja also talked to me about the risks of going over and tgere risks of being induced. Even though I do know this it was helpful to hear it again. I decided to wait to get an ultrasound. Sonja left and I sat down. I felt so sick. Its hard to even describe. My face felt numb yet my bones were tingling. I felt so out of it. It was horrible. Essence was really tired so I played down with her and fed her to sleep. I tried to sleep but was too sick. I kept seeing a snake come after me yet I felt tgere baby was safe. Mum prayed with me and then I went and threw everything up. It was a horrible feeling. I had a bath to try and warm up. Contractions were coming 10 minutes apart now. I knew I would not be having any more of anything to bring labour on. I decided I would wait and get a scan done at 33 weeks and just let baby come when she was ready. If I am lucky enough to be pregnant again I will not try and bring labour on even going past 42 weeks (like I did this time) . I did start to feel better but was still pretty ill. The contractions were 10 minutes apart until I went to bed that night. I was praying not to go into labour as I could not imagine labouring while being so sick! I expected to wake up through the night in full blown labour though...

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she has arrived!

After a very long wait (18 days past her EDD) Ezaria Faith Johnson is here. Born at home into the water on the 23rd September 2011 at 2:43pm.
7lb 10oz (3.46kgs) my 3rd smallest baby!
52 cm long and 36cm head.
She is worth every long hard day and I am so thankful that I trusted in Yah and my body to wait it out. She is gorgeous and we are all totally in love!
More details to come soon (and hopefully better photos!).

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42 weeks + 3 days

This is actually a pic from 6 days ago when I took the girls for a big long walk to try and get the baby moving. Obviously it didn't work!
On Monday I had the stretch and sweep done (42 weeks) I was dilated at least a 2 and soft so was hoping that might help things along but no such luck. Babies heartbeat was good, my blood pressure was good everything was good. Had lunch with mum and a good friend Cathy who prayed for me about the birth and just about waiting. I still have some fear there about the pain of birth and the longer I wait the more I get to think about it.

castor oil

Tuesday I woke up with contractions and lots of pressure. I needed to get some groceries so went to the shops with my parents while Jay stayed at home with the children. I forget to say that they have all been sick over the weekend with some kind of weird virus that make them sleep and feel sick. Not the best timing! Anyway I walked around for a while and when I got home I felt different. I couldn't concentrate very well had the shakes a bit and was still having fairly regular contractions. I thought I was in early labour for sure. I even had a lay down with Esse in case I was going into labour. By the afternoon things had slowed down a lot but I was still very hopeful. My good friend Donna called in and we chatted for a while and ended up going out for a couple of hours for dinner and coffee. I needed this time out! It was so great. I felt like I could do this and have me some much needed renewed strength. When I got home Jay had cooked dinner, bathed the kids and done the dishes so I could still stay focused. The contractions still continued but didn't increase in pain so I went to bed at about midnight. The baby had been moving so much. In my dream people were doing ballet to her movements which was actually music! The next morning I woke up early (again) and still pregnant! I had another cry and realised I hadn't felt her move for hours! Of course I have all of these fear thoughts that something has happened. That last night she was moving so much because she was struggling and now she was gone. I ended up ringing Sonja who said she would come over and check everything. The baby moved then! I spent the morning g with mum and the girls. We walked to the park and I just sat around. Contractions of course still were happening but not as regular as the day before. Sonja came and checked her heartbeat etc...and just reassured me that everything is ok. She suggested taking the castor oil last night as Jay will be home today (he was working in the city last night) and of nothing happened she will come with me today to get a scan done so I wouldn't be worried.
 At 8:00 I took the first dose then another at 9:00 and one more at 10:00. It was disgusting. I was heaving with the 2nd one and couldn't get the last bit down of the 3rd one. Jay and I sat watching a series on TV we hadn't had a chance to watch. By 11pm I thought I'd go to bed. Nothing was happening and I just felt tired and a little sick. I had pains through out the night but i didn't have to go to the toilet I until almost 6am. I expected it sooner but it must take a while to work. So that's where I am today. Waiting. To see what happens. Been having pretty consistent contractions this morning but its nothing new. Tomorrow is my Dads birthday. I joked about her being born on his birthday throughout the pregnancy but didn't ever really think I would go 18 days over but now who knows??

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40 weeks + 11 days

I really wish I had the internet now is the time to be blogging! These last couple of weeks have been so hard. The apps on my phone don't seem to work very well. I am now going to try and use the internet on my phone and not the app. It will still be hard due to typing on a phone keyboard! I'm trying to upload photos. Here are the pics from 40 week visit with Sonja.

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photo I have no idea if this is actually going to work when I post this! Its been such an emotional week. There have been days filled with tears and days where I have been so calm and at peace. I have been having so much prelabour. The contractions are intense and the pressure is hard. I feel as though my waters will pop at an time. I still have not had a show or any other signs that labour is near. Sonja came again on Wednesday and baby is still doing great. I know that she is ok in there. She is moving so much I'm not worried that any thing is wrong. I've still had no internals even though I was tempted to ask for a stretch and sweep! If I am still pregnant on Monday (42 weeks) I will try that. Its so hard to just sit and wait. To trust Yah, to trust in my body and in the whole birth process. My head knows the truth that I am not really overdue, that it is still normal to go this far and its still safe but my emotions are wanting this baby out!

41 weeks

I was 41 weeks yesterday. My internet has gone down so I will blog as soon as I can!!

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40 weeks

I am 40 weeks today!

The top pic is the view when I look down. I can't see the floor!

This dress is actually the dress that I gave birth to Bella in. It brings back so many memories.

So I made it to 40 weeks. I am not really surprised as I knew I would get here. I am pretty sure I will make it to 41 weeeks and perhaps even 42 weeks but I hope I don't. Theses last weeks/days are so hard. Even though I am much more prepared this time which has helped me cope it is still hard just waiting and wondering when it will be time. I haven't been too emotional. The mornings are the hardest. I wake up and think oh I'm still pregnant. By the evening I am so tired I think oh well I need to sleep anyway. I remember this being how I have felt other times.

Sleeping is hard being so uncomfortable and having to get up and go to the toilet so much. Heartburn comes and goes but I wouldn't say it has been a big problem this pregnancy. I am still getting rib pain but I think it's lessening. I haven't seen the chiropractor for 2 weeeks tomorrow but I'm thinking that maybe she has moved down a little lower.

I am loving the coconut water and have had some young coconuts too. I'm also still enjoying the porridge with yogurt and fruit. There's not too much room to fit much in so my food intake is still less than normal.

She is still moving so much. I am still so amazed and lay in bed watching my nelly or I sit on the lounge watching. It's so hard to believe that there is really a full sized baby in there. A real person! So exciting!! I can't wait to meet this little one.

Jay is working this whole week from 1pm-1-2am! He is an hour away and can't have his phone on as he is filming. It's goig to be a hard week for me and hopefully he won't miss the birth! I do know that Yah is in control and already knows the perfect time for her birth!

I am still dreaming that this baby is a boy! What a surprise if she turned out to be a he! I'm sure they can't have got it wrong twice but wonder why I keep dreaming she is a he?

I am still really tired but also have energy to keep cleaning this house. Almost all of my kitchen cupboards are done now!

Contractions still come pretty often throughout the day and night but I'm pretty sure I was having a lot more when I was pregnat with Essence.

I got two huge pimples yesterday. Hoping its a hormone shift that could mean labour is soon? Well it's wishful thinking anyway.

I have a visit with Sonja tomorrow.

I am off to bed as my eyes are closing!